With my current job with the City of Richmond, I make three hundred and fifty dollars a week. After I pay rent and utilities on my six hundred square foot house I have roughly sixty dollars to work with any given month. Half of this goes to the laundromat.
As of last week I have been turned down for ten different positions with CSX and eight different positions with the City. There are rumors about trash-collector positions coming up but nothing's materialized. Couldn't get a call-back from friggin Starbucks. I have approximately fifteen years experience as a carpenter and woodworker. I am under the belief that my trade is dying. I stopped blaming the Mexicans for this just last week.
Also last week I quit what has been my year and a half commitment to opening up the Al-anon meeting I helped found. I'm not sure if it will keep going or not. I decided I needed to get out of it's way so that it could either grow up on it's own or else die a tragic lonely death. Of course now I'm in a panic to find other meetings.
I've been reading this book at work as I bounce around in the boom truck. It, as well as it's predecessor, have been an absolute miracle to me.
As of today I have been clean for one thousand seven hundred and thirty eight days.
I've been watching youtube footage of the tsunami in Japan all week and listening to Tool's album Lateralus in the truck or while washing dishes. I decided earlier today that neither of these things have been very helpful. The main reason I haven't been able to write is I feel that everything I have to say right now is bitchy. However I know for a fact that I've never been healthier or stronger in my life. I also suspect I might just be insanely happy on some level.
So that I don't wake up Ruth, I shower in the dark each morning where I often find myself deep into "fox-hole" prayer. However today I woke up to the thought that I have absolutely no time right now to entertain fear, bitterness or resentment. I got too much going on, too much at stake and I need to be able to travel fast and light.